Day two of Plan C has been one of those beautiful early autumn days where a chilly morning gives way to sunny, cloud-free skies. It was the perfect weather for a spot of gardening. And to forget all about Plan C: Surviving Self-Isolation in New Zealand.
I’m sure the neighbours must think I’m crazy though. Forget floppy straw hats and pruning secateurs. When I garden, I attack the plants as if they have personally affronted me somehow. Normally with a giant pair of shears while muttering under my breath about the audacity weeds have for even existing. And being so persistent. As well as growing better and more profusely than any other plant. I hate weeds and get a secret thrill every time I rip them up or drench their leaves with weed killer (don’t worry, I only use the kind that doesn’t linger in the soil, at least according to the bottle).
Today was no exception. In fact, I went madder than normal and am now exhausted. Oversized hedges, rambling roses and, of course, weeds (oh so many weeds) felt my wrath. I think I had a lot of pent up emotion that needed venting.
Bees didn’t stop me from hacking a bush blocking a pathway down. Fuchsia growing over one of the bedroom windows didn’t stand a chance. And the fragrant jasmine sprawling carefree over an arch was cut back to knee height, not one blossom spared.
I now have pruners remorse.
Despite my zealous gardening, Child B was happy to watch bits of leaves flying through the air and Child A kicking his soccer ball about. There was a tricky moment when it landed in the neighbour’s garden and we weren’t sure how best to retrieve it without breaking protocol.
There was another entertaining moment when the postie turned up with a package and let out a ‘Woah’ as Child A went charging down the drive to collect it (yes, I have told him about the bubble but kids eh). The warning actually manage to halt him in his tracks. The postie and I stood looking at each other, normal Kiwi politeness put on hold as we tried to figure out how to proceed. I gave up and said, “Just leave it on the path and I’ll retrieve it.”
Roll on day 3 of Plan C: Surviving Self-isolation in New Zealand’s. With a year’s worth of gardening completed in one day, I’m not sure what other household tasks I will be terrorising next.